Shameless

"I have a message for all of my fellow travelers...Yeah, I am a schizophrenic...and I absolutely refuse to be ashamed, I absolutely refuse to be ashamed for having a serious mental illness."  - Dr. Fred Frese

I heard this statement on a youtube video by Dr. Fred Frese.   It really got me thinking. I freely admit that I have a mental illness.   I didn't always, but I do now.  But can I really say that I refuse to be ashamed of my mental illness?    Some days the answer is yes.   But if I want to be loved or accepted by others, the answer is sometimes no.   When I feel stigma and prejudice from others, I do feel shame about my mental illness.  Shame for existing.   Shame for being broken.

I got to thinking:  What would it be like if I didn't feel ashamed?   What would it be like to be shameless?

So I thought I would make a list, a list of what I would act like, or do differently if I did not feel shame about having bipolar disorder.

Here it is.

1) I would accept myself exactly as I am.   I would not feel like I was less than anyone else.   I would not feel like I was defective.  Broken.

2) I would feel like people wanted to be around me.   That they wanted to be my friend, or love me.  They would seek me out because I am a kind person.   I am an interesting person.

3) I would not be ashamed to get any mental health services that I might need at any given time.   I would not walk in to a mental health clinic feeling like I am incapable of helping myself or balancing my life.  Just like I do not feel ashamed when I go to the doctor when I have a sinus infection, or strep throat.   I go and get the interventions that I need.   I do not feel less.   I do not feel like I am not capable.

4) I would believe in myself and in my abilities.    I would feel like a strong and capable person.   After all, I do live with an illness that alters my life experience.    I am a survivor.   I am adaptable.  I have learned many things.   I have weathered many trials.    I would no longer fear my ability to stand on my own and meet life head on.

5) I would not let anyone else be the captain of my ship.  I would be the captain.   I would listen to doctors, therapists, family members.   I would read many things.   I would make my own decisions and take into account the wisdom of others.   But I wouldn't let them set the course for my life, because I would feel capable and strong.

6) I would not continue to hide behind a wall of stigma that doesn't make sense.   I would be out there in the world, speaking about my illness.   I would be a voice of hope to others who might be struggling.  I would be a voice of truth to those who are uninformed.  I would come out of the shadows and make my voice heard.   I would strive to change minds, and challenge perceptions.

7) I would try to join with others to work for reform in mental health care services.   I would try to find solutions that work.  I would try to make a difference, to help someone who was alone and struggling.   I would tap into their inner wisdom and find what works for them.  

8) I would try to educate my community about life with a mental illness.   I would show them the face of a neighbor, and a trusted friend.   A quality employee, a volunteer.   A mother, a daughter and a sister.  I would show them that I am more like them than they think.   And I would not be afraid.

9) I would appreciate my own beauty.  Appreciate my unique contribution to my community, my state and the world.   I would no longer look at myself as a detriment, but as an asset.  A skilled worker.  Someone who has excellent coping skills.   Someone who has honed their tools of wellness.  Someone who is Able.

10) I would honor others, because I would be able to honor myself.   I would not look on others with the eyes of judgment, because I would not be looking at myself with the eyes of judgment.   I would see the strengths in others and the strengths in myself.

I think I like the idea of being shameless.   I think I am going to try it on.  
 What do you think?   Do you want to try on shameless with me? 
I bet they have it in just your size!