Lessons from a heart shaped tree

 

 

I found this tree in the mountains.  It was in an area greatly affected by severe drought and pine beetles.  In the middle of a scene of devastation was a heart shaped tree.

I took the photo because I thought the heart shape was cool.   But then I began to reflect on that trip to the mountains.   It was a difficult trip to witness the dead trees.  Some had been cut down to protect from wildfires.   Some had fallen over with their massive roots pulled out of the ground as if by some unseen giant.   It was a brutal scene.   And it hurt me to the bone to look at the once green forest twisted into something from a child's dark fairytale.

 

Changes in warming patterns and weather have made it possible for pine beetles to thrive and kill the forest.   Only a hard freeze or logging operations can save it.  And maybe neither will.   The fire danger is extremely high, and present all over the mountain west.   Many favorite picnic areas and camping grounds are almost ghost-like, with chopped down trees and fallen trees.   It almost looks like a blast from a bomb or a force of nature ran over the forest.

 

I have had many times in my life full of devastation.  Times where chaos left its mark.  Often, we have no control over this chaos.   Things happen to us.    We stand like those great trees through all of the seasons of our lives.   Sometimes the seasons are harsh and bring us pain.   For a long time, I lived my life on the edge of this pain and chaos.   Waiting for more pain and chaos to come.   Fear was a constant companion.  Bipolar ripped through my life like an infestation and spread pain and disease.   I gave up for awhile and I let Bipolar and disease take me.  I died inside like that horrible gnarled forest.

 

But then I found my heart shaped tree in the middle of a forest of ghosts.  I found hope.  Hope is the only remedy for a life frozen by pain, fear and disease.   Hope is my heart shaped tree.

 

Hope saved me, and gave me the promise of tomorrow.  Of better things to come.  I look differently now at that picture of the heart shaped tree.    I see pain, but I see more beauty.    I see a gift inside of the chaos.   A reminder that hope will never leave us.  

 

Sometimes I still fear the unknown.   This is why I struggle with letting go and acceptance.   I don't always like my reality. I don't always want the hand I have been dealt in life.  But this heart shaped tree reminds me that I have a path to walk.  I may not always like the direction the path takes, but I can be assured that Hope is with me no matter where I go.  Even in the middle of chaos.

There is always Hope.