Bad Day Makeover

Do you ever just have one of those days?    Those days that leave you frustrated, and just make you feel like crying on the couch in your fat pants while you eat ice cream?   Usually, for me, those days are a series of either frustrating or hurtful events.

Today was one of those days for me.

Actually, this whole week has kind of been a series of challenging days.   Bad days used to throw me off course.  They used to just kind of fester in my mind, as I went over and over the events, feeling the hurts and stewing about the situations.  I would keep thinking about things, until I was lost in fear, or in my dire predictions of the future, based on my hurt and frustration.

Pretty soon, I would begin to feel worthless.   I would feel like I was failing at life, and just somehow not up to the task.   Of course, at times like this, everything in everyone else's life seems like a rosy path.   They all seem to be perfect, and perfectly happy people who handle everything beautifully and never have bad days, frustration, or messed up lives.

Soon, all of these thoughts about being less than everyone else, and a miserable failure and isolation would build up in me, and I would begin to feel depression creeping into my life.   My cup of frustration and anguish was full, so to speak, and any little drop, or tiny little event just would cause me to overflow.  Sometimes, I have even felt like I was falling off the end of the world, lost and alone.

 

I would feel upside down, like my world was off kilter and I was too tired and overwhelmed to get myself back on course.

 

 

I still have frustrating days.    I still really tend to take things and situations VERY, VERY PERSONALLY.    The frustration and hurt can build and build in me until I am like a whistling tea kettle ready to blow.   But things are beginning to change.    I notice signs in myself now, signs that tell me that I am going in a direction that I do not want to go.   I also have learned some new coping skills for dealing with this kind of frustration.    I still feel frustrated, and even hurt sometimes, but I do not feel like a failure.  I look at my perception of events more often, and I cheerlead myself by looking at another point of view, or telling myself that I am dealing with life the best that I can.

 

I also have increased my enjoyment of life in general by giving myself permission to be human.   By soothing myself when I have a bad day.   I rest if I need to.   I call a trusted friend or a loving family member if I need to talk to someone, or just need someone to listen.    I distract myself from the frustration and hurt by doing something fun or creative, or just relaxing by reading a book or watching a movie.    When I distract myself from my thoughts and feelings of frustration and hurt, I get some space and cushion from the pain of the situation.     After I get this cushion, things usually look better.    The hurt I was feeling seems to diminish.

 

I guess I am learning that life happens.    Life is frustrating sometimes, for everyone.   Sometimes people say and do hurtful things.   I am not alone in my frustration, my hurt, or even my feelings of somehow being less, or not measuring up somehow.   Everyone feels these feelings.  

 

I am learning how to give my bad days a makeover. 

 

 

 

And now for a message from our life coach cats:

 

Life Happens.

Bad Days Happen.

 

Sometimes you have to find a friend and get some support and understanding.

One Day at a time Mindfulness:

I was very frustrated today.   I knew I needed to do something before I began to feel overwhelmed.  I decided to use my mindfulness time to see if I could help myself to feel better and less frustrated.

I decided to focus all of my energy on what I was doing in that moment.   I was driving.   I drove one mindfully with all of my intent.   When a thought came into my head, I pushed it aside and focused on driving and on my five senses.   I thought about how the steering wheel felt in my hands, how the seat felt against my body.   I heard the song on the radio, and the sound of my car and the air conditioner as I drove.   I focused on the task at hand and kept my thoughts out.   I also made sure to take a couple of deep and soothing breaths.
I found that this really did help, even though it sounds pretty corny.   I felt much more calm and less emotional.   I got out of all of the buzz in my head and just drove and was fully present in that moment in time.