Thursday, July 25, 2013

Middle Beauty

I don't know about you, but when I am frustrated, upset or just annoyed I tend to vacillate between extremes.

I will have goals and work obsessively to meet them.   Then I will read that you can't force life, or I sense that I am forcing, and I let go of my goals to the extent that I no longer try and then kick my own butt for trying so hard and wanting to have goals in the first place.

Or I will feel like I really want something in my life that I do not have or want to change, and then feel guilty that I can't just like things the way that they are. 

What happens in these situations is that I bounce from one side to the other, and then feel guilty for having been to both sides.   I am trying to learn to walk in the middle.

 
 
What do I mean by the middle?   I mean that I can both work toward my goals and let go of the outcome of those goals.    I mean that I can want things that I do not have and yet be happy as I am right now in this moment.    I mean that I can want to change certain situations in my life and yet accept those situations as they are in my life right now.
 
This concept of the middle is new to me.    I have long yearned for balance in my life.   I've often known that I am out of whack.     I know that I tend to go back and forth between extremes.    I try to let go of things to the point of feeling guilty that I wanted them in the first place.   
 
I really like the middle, because it is a gentle and kind place to be.   For example, I can think things like:  I want to go to your party, and I also really need some sleep.    Or, I really like you a lot, and I am not sure that I am ready for a relationship.    This whole way of thinking allows me to be me.   It gives me permission to be myself as I truly am.
 
I am a human.   I am imperfect.    I like impermanent things.  I want things.   But, I also want to let go, I want to accept life as it is, and yet, I really want to change my life.   All of these things are okay.  I don't have to feel guilty for being me.
 
I am okay right now, just as I am, and I need to work hard to change.
 
And that is beauty.
 
 

And now for a message from our life coach cats:

 
 
 
We all have to find our own path in life.
Does your path give you permission to be yourself?
 
 
 
 

One Day at a time Mindfulness:

 
There are many changes coming in my life.   Some changes are easier to accept than others.   Some of these changes bring up thoughts of fear and scarcity within me.   I feel insecure and overlooked in the face of these changes.    I feel anxious.   My mindfulness for today was to put a stop to these thoughts and feelings within myself.   I stopped and checked the facts.   I described the facts verses my feelings about the facts.    I don't really know what is going to happen in the future, but I can stop myself from worrying thoughts that make me miserable today.
 
 
 



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