Sunday, July 28, 2013

The Power of And

It doesn't take much, just 2 or 3 upcoming changes in my life and I get afraid.   Afraid of the future and my place in the world.    I don't really know all of the reasons why I tend to do this, and I suppose it wouldn't really matter if I knew, because the reality is that I feel uncertain and down. 

 


I try to deal with these feelings in several ways, so that they don't get the best of me. 


First, I try to force myself to spend an equal amount of time thinking that things will work out great, as I do thinking that they will be horrible.    I tell myself that the future does not exist, so if I am going to put some worry thoughts out there, then I can also put some great thoughts out there.

I also try to ground myself in the present moment through an activity like meditation or yoga.   I will probably need to do both today, because I don't like myself very much today.  Spending time in the present moment usually helps me to get out of my slump and back into life.

I will also find something to do today, to get myself out of the house or busy.   The weekends are perfect for this, because I usually have a lot of house cleaning to do anyway, and I can play some fun music, clean the house and then maybe go to a convenience store for a pop after. 

I am also try to use the word 'and' instead of the word 'but'.   I heard this suggestion from a co-worker and it really does make me feel better.   I tend to like to kick myself for not being perfect.  So, if I am worrying about something, I will kick myself for worrying and not being more Zen.      So instead of saying " I feel worried about the future, but I know the future does not exist" or "I feel worried about the future, but I know what to do to feel better", I will change the but for the and.    Why?   The and opens doors.   The and lets you be you, will all of your imperfections and flaws.   The and gives you permission to be human. 

Let's  take those statements again.   If I tell myself "I feel worried about the future, but I know the future does not exist" , I am telling myself that I should not be worried about the future and that I am stupid and a failure for having these thoughts, especially when I know what to do to help myself.    This is judgment, and it makes me feel like crap.   

If I change that but to an and, then I have permission to hold both of these beliefs at one time, and that more accurately reflects reality.   " I feel worried about the future, and I know that the future does not yet exist"  or "I feel worried about he future and I know what to do to feel better" both give me permission to have my feelings.   They give me permission to be human and to know how to fix my mindset.   They make it acceptable to be myself and to have the feelings that I have without judgment.    And they help me to feel so much better.

So I am going to help myself out today by cleaning my house, relaxing, grounding myself in the present moment, and by changing by 'but' to 'and'.

Try using and in your life.   See if it makes a difference in how you feel and think about yourself and your life.

And now for a message from our life coach cats:




All of us wonder about the future sometimes.   Try to wonder both positive and negative if you are worried about the future.   Try to ground yourself in the now and put the future on a shelf.





One Day at a Time Mindfulness:



I sat for a moment this morning and just noticed the beauty of my surroundings.   I listened to the sounds outside on this cool and calm morning.    I noticed the sounds of my daughter playing and the sounds of my cats sleeping.    I have a beautiful life.  

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