Gentle Path

 

I have some skills that I use every day to make my life better.  These skills are the 'nuts and bolts' of my wellness.  

Without these skills, my life was chaos.    I grew up in a home that was chaotic.   There was often drama.   I did not learn how to deal effectively with emotions.   Emotions boiled over on a regular basis in my childhood home.   Emotions were often treated as fact.  Perceptions were the guiding force for decision making.    I did not learn how to regulate myself, or my thoughts and perceptions until I was an adult.  For me, learning how to do this has been my life line.    I am moody.   I have a mood disorder.   I grew up in chaos. 

 

My life quickly became chaos, and I felt like I was lost at sea, adrift on wave after wave of perception and emotion.  I did not want to stay in this place.   I began to search for anything that could save me.

 

My skills come from many different sources.   Some are from therapy.   Some are from the 12 step tradition.   Some are from DBT.    There are many different paths to wellness.   These are some of the stepping stones that pave my path to wellness:

 

 

Stop and think.  



 

 

 

Many times, I need to picture a stop sign in my head.   I need to stop and breathe.   I need to stop and check the facts.    I need to stop and examine my thoughts.    What is perception, and what is fact?   Am I speaking the language of absolutes?   Am I allowing negative thoughts to consume me?   Do I need to rest?   Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?   What do I need?  What do I need to do for myself in this moment?

 

 

Often, just allowing the space to look at things in my life gives me a cushion in time.   I need this cushion, so that I know what to do next.    I can check in with myself and find the inner wisdom that I need.   I am learning to pause and reflect.   I am learning to be effective.    I am learning to act instead of just reacting.





 

 

Do not dwell in negativity....do not choose the stormy path.

 

 

I used to spend a lot of time in fear.   I worried incessantly about the future.   I lived in shame from the past.   These emotions robbed me of my life.   I missed the moments of my present lost in shame and fear.   The past is gone, the future is not yet here.  When I am either lost in the future, or weighed down by the past, I feel like an angry stallion, charging down a stony path.   This path only leads me to resentment or constant fear.   This is not a comfortable path.   I have spent far too much time here.  I make myself set aside time for worry or fear.   I will spend 2 or 3 minutes just giving worry or fear my all.   Then I will spend 2 or 3 minutes giving positive thinking my all.   Just so that I can balance this time out.  This exercise helps me to pull myself out of fear.   I pay attention to it, but I also spend equal time in positive thinking.  

 

 

 

Ground yourself.

 



 

I really have to work to balance my life.   I tend to overdo things.   I will push myself until I have nothing left to give.    I want to be perfect.    Acceptance is something that I struggle with.   I have to work very hard to just 'let go'.   I want to control life.   I want life on my terms.    Obviously, this approach to life does not work out so well.    I need to intentionally spend time each day just grounding myself.   I either need to meditate, pray, journal or do all of the above.   I need to spend time just doing nothing.  Grounding myself helps me to put things into perspective.   It helps me to stop seeking perfection.   It helps me to let go of my need to control, and helps me to accept reality.  It helps me to find a balance between doing and being.  It helps me to walk a gentle path.    A healing path.

 

If I remember to use these 'nuts and bolts' then my life is less stressful and I don't feel overwhelmed.   I don't feel like I am lost in a swirling sea of emotion and regret.  What are your 'nuts and bolts'?

 

 

And now for a word from our life coach cats:

 

 

 

The path to wellness is a gentle path. 

There's just a lot of hard knocks sometimes before you can find it.