What is it like to experience depression?
Depression for me is like waking up with weights tied to my limbs, and a rock inside of my soul. I feel worthless and hopeless and empty. The joy in my life disappears. My mind feels muddled and it is hard to make sense out of the ins and outs of day to day life.
Sometimes I have a hard time wanting to connect. I don't want to be connected to anything. I don't want the light in my house. I don't want to talk to other people. I don't want to leave my house or my bed. I want to be alone. I want to be separate. It is almost like an instinct. Close yourself off. Try to heal. Try to make sense out of why you feel this way.
According to NAMI, approximately 6.7 percent of American adults- about 14.8 million people live with major depression.
When I am depressed, it is hard to talk and be social with other people. I feel tired and weary to my bones and my soul. It is hard to make small talk. It is hard to laugh. It is hard to 'put on a happy face' and mask what you are really feeling to the world.
I don't often naturally want to be social at all when I am depressed. I will often turn down invitations. I will miss activities. Sometimes, I seem to miss the whole day.
What is helpful for a depressed person?
I believe that medication is an important tool to use against depression. Without medication, I personally was unable to overcome depression. I take medication for bipolar disorder. It does help with depression. But some days, I still feel depressed. Sometimes there is not a reason. I just wake up and I feel different. Most of the time, it evens out in a couple of days. But I have to use some coping skills to get through this time. These are the things that have helped me fight depression:
When I am depressed, I find it helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member. Someone who understands depression, and who will listen. It is important to find someone who will listen without judgment or criticism. Someone who will listen without telling you to 'just cheer up'.
When I am depressed, I find it helpful to force myself to be connected. I fight my instincts. I open my curtains. I get out of bed. I shower, and get dressed and leave the house to do SOMETHING. Anything. Just to get up and make my body get going. I completely engross myself in whatever I am doing. If I am pulling weeds, I pull those weeds mindfully. I think about the feeling of the weed in my hand, the way the dirt feels on my skin. The sounds in the yard. The way my knees feel as they make a connection with the earth. Soon, I feel less heavy. But it is not like the depression magically goes away. But it does lift slightly. I may have to force myself for several days. But eventually, it begins to subside.
When I am depressed, I find it helpful to do something I enjoy. I treat myself. Maybe I will window shop, or go swimming, or go to a movie. I try to do something that does not require a lot of concentration on my part, since my mind feels muddled. I try to pick an activity that is out of the ordinary, and something that really makes me happy when things are good. It does not feel good at first, but usually, the depression will lift slightly.
When I am depressed, I find it helpful to get some sunlight, eat some healthy food and make sure that my physical body is maintained. It is easy to not eat, or eat strange things when I am depressed. It is also easy to not shower, or get dressed. I push myself to make a meal. A healthy meal. To get dressed and get some sunlight. Sometimes, physical activity will help. So I go for a walk, or swim.
When I am depressed, I find it helpful to try and volunteer. Sometimes, if I can give to someone else, it makes me feel better. I feel worthwhile. I feel necessary. Usually, volunteering involves a specific activity. I can often get engrossed in this activity, and for a few minutes, I get some relief from my depression.
When I am depressed, I find it helpful to watch for signs of 'warning' within myself. I watch for feelings of despair. For those times when I want to die. Or, if I feel like I can't go on with life. If I have those feelings, I have an immediate action plan. I may call to get an appointment with a medication provider, or I may call a trusted family member or friend. I take quick and decisive action. Taking this action not only helps me with the depression, it also helps me to feel like I can do what it takes to take care of me. I know who to call, and I know when to call. This keeps me in the driver's seat. And being in the driver's seat is very important for me, because it helps me to feel like I am competent. Like I am up to the task. Like I can live well, even when I have the weight of the world within my soul.
I didn't always feel this way. I used to feel helpless against depression. I didn't know what to do with it. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I still have to work against depression. I have to work very hard sometimes. But for me, it is worth it. Because I don't want depression to win.
And now for a message from our life coach cats:
Keep going.
Even when you don't feel like trying. That is the time to try the hardest.
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